This year sucks so bad someone who lived through fucking Janis Joplin couldn’t even take it. I genuinely talk with my friends about how the world has already ended but either Christ didn’t redeem us particular sinners, or time split into saved and unsaved components and I played my hand wrong. I think this is demonstrable in the fact that the world-wide Right Wing is becoming ascendent with its repulsive family values movement (also called the ‘Kill anything that scares our children except big business’ movement), and that my green tea keeps burning in kettle water. An almost subliminal reminder that hell is a little closer, the veils that seperate this and the next life been parted by a voyeuristic tom. But RIP to one of the greatest songwriters in history, the man who got a million anaemic hipsters laid and who legitimately seemed indestructible despite the sensitive morality of his songs. Your music always made me cry.
My heart burns inside me like a salt lamp, heating up an otherwise cavernous space and getting clothed in dust in the process. Every time I look up the sky there is a war in heaven and I have the wrong mark on my forehead. I look at the politics of the world and am not surprised but see only inevitable strife. Thermodynamics tells us chaos is the universe’s natural tendency so why do we get so scared to see things fall apart? The only thing we’re scared of is each other; we have 99% the same DNA and no agreeing opinions. That’s all that war and death is. I know I’m right and that you’re wrong and that you’ll be so phenomenally wrong if allowed to go ahead you’ll get us all killed so I’ll kill you first. Where is the evil in this study of human consciousness? We are evolutionarily designed killing, displacing, ego machines, so arrogant we call ourselves the most advanced species, our reason godly, and teach kids the infinite goodness of ourselves. How self-deluding. To counter the disenchanting reality of regular life we should be teaching kids: We are currently the most evolutionary fit species and yet we can’t even feed our populations, can’t change shit when we’re stuck in traffic and can’t control our worthless tempers. We are actually geared towards personal survival so love and bond will break down at the moment of feeling ourselves threatened; we will lie to get our own way honestly affirming that we believe the lies we tell ourselves. We have reason as of God’s, we are above animals, but we can’t work out how to talk to each other and won’t let other people use their intelligence freely. We are made in God’s image and are all one and free but kill anyone who attempts to question this.
Sometimes the most you can ask for in life is a temporary reprieve. This is why I don’t advocate against drugs. An ephemeral vacation is all that is offered- no lasting peace- so whether you watch nightly news, play sport, spend money, bang H, choot up, make art, or campaign against others’ pleasures, at least do what you do with the knowledge that different people inhabit other streams than you and that their life is as important as yours feels to you. Art is the great nurse of my life making wounds less agonising. So all I can offer is art, someone else’s or my own. Hence listen to this, new Brian Jonestown Massacre –Third World Pyramid. Anton has always been a cooing voice for moi, taking away great pains and conventional mindsets. Watching DIG! blasted on mushrooms changed my life- made me realise I needed to offer something toward with no gain of my own to be expected. I try to live my life this way despite failing often enough to be getting better at it. If we all made our little life our art the world would be a more musical place. Sing your song, but not over anyone else.