AND WITH THIS, THE BLIGHT OF 2016 WILL HAVE NEARLY FINISHED TAKING ALL OUR IDOLS FROM US
This is actually funny as. Slayer x Supreme collab for, I’m guessing, some pre-distressed South of Heaven shirts and denim chain wallets with box logos? Maybe snapbacks that smells like James Jebbia’s taint or some long-sleeves with Kerry King tattoo motifs down the side? This is the Ark of the Covenant for vapid 14 year old white girls who wanna be edgy and pregnant and smoking Horizons within the next year. This is one step up from that type of shame people who wear Thrasher hoodies and Janoskians but don’t skate and only call everyone ‘dude’ because they have a small cock invoke. This is the warmed-over shit Slayer fans are pretty used to about now though. A Slayer collab with Madonna would be less incredulously received at this point. The only thing more sacrilegious they could do would be to get an actual Slayer fan, put him in the middle of an A7X circlepit, get him to write down his feelings in a journal, and then, as he’s reading his sonnets above the din, laser-remove all his tattoos and body hair so he could be employable again.
I mean, didn’t this shit end when they started selling polyester Sabbath and Iron Maiden shirts at Sanity with no royalties going to the artist, and no fans who’ve ever listened to that music ever being back bone-less enough to buy one? Didn’t it end in the early 2000’s when Korn-emblazoned gildan shirts nearly got people bashed because they couldn’t even spit out a catch cry of “Twisted Transistor” when someone said “name one song fuckhead.” Never do for fashion what other people do for love. If you buy a $150 t-shirt of something very subcultural (that should be free or made by the artist) and that someone who really represents that subculture doesn’t have, they have the right to stick you up. I’m sorry, but if i walk down he street in a new pair of J’s and I don’t even play basketball (I don’t), some 6 foot Chinese kid in dying And1’s has the right to come staunch me. I won’t even complain to his boys.
Despite being the most satanic thrash band to ever sell out stadiums all over the world, Slayer have gotten commercial. These cunts have sold literally millions of albums, gone Gold, won 2 Grammies, got Tipper Gore’s panties in a jam, lived through the 80’s tour life, made controversial branding a staple of success, and now they want you to revere the fact they’re business-savvy enough to wear ‘rare black box logo tee(s)’. Nah, not this old head, I’d rather go listen to Diabolus in Musica for a laugh.
And who’s Supreme gonna
steal from collab with next? Sadevillain? May as well, that shit is poppin at least, probably just needs to find its audience underground first before Supreme comes in and markets it to opulent tryhards and wannabe vine stars on the shelf in their parents’ fiduciaries, thereby bringing it to the mainstream. My tip is for the 2017 Supreme x smashed avocado pull overs in Zutano green with collectible silver spoon.