My jawn at the moment is KC and the Sunshine Band’s Boogie Shoes. A utopian classic from 1975 about dancing the troubles away and just being carnal in general, like all KC&SB songs this is pure disco-funk revelry to blow away the white-world blues. If this actually played as you walked into work like in movies you could guarantee the sky would be cloudless , the day would end in a corporate orgy and someone would shout the office lunch at 1pm.

Anyone who hasn’t managed to lap up this golden dance floor classic in the last 40 years will be familiar with it thanks to KFC whom have utilised it as the anthem for the whole of oceania to sell hormone-blasted chicken. It really has the power to change the banal evil of the Western world into something a little more groovy. Thanks crazy horn section and unskippable 15 second Youtube ads.

KFC may well have pushed themselves up the informal Cholesterol Hierarchy with this one, established well above McDonalds but languring under HJ’s still. I hope that some Baby Boomer on the KFC promotions team got drunk off XXXX and went to work covered in last night’s chicken binge playing this song for comfort on his daughter’s IPod, and the boss looked at him, had an eidetic hallucination of what their ideal consumer looks like, and said “You’re it John…You’re it. What is that entrancing noise you’re listening in to on your headphones?”

The genius of marketing: take something good and shove it into the maw of something bad and then put your best foot forward, model a ‘lil bit wearing a mask that only superficially conceals true motives (profit), then sell GMO foul for a pittance to people whose brains you’ve manipulated with funky feelings. Scuttlebutt in the industry is that KFC needs a margins upgrade because the despotic Colonel at the heart of the operation needs more bleach to get the bloodstains from his clothes.

 

Did you know the Colonel’s autobiography is actually called Life as I Have Known It Has Been Finger Lickin’ Good. 

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