You want a review of Soundwave?

Well, here’s a review of a peanut butter sandwhich i had for breakfast, instead.

It was a tawdry affair, the sandwich. Never had i seen a beast to rival it in terms of stickiness and unpalatability. The golden brown mess spilled from every side like the guts of a slain rabbit. I bit in, deep and hard, with a sense of aniticipation i reserve entirely for peanut butter. My eyes, alight with an unearthly shine, dim to a torpid glow. There are hard, bitter lumps. The jar has gone out of date. Or Mother has bought the chunky kind. Either way her ineptness will be punished. Severely.

But here are some notes from Soundwave 2012 anyway:

Break Even – One of, if not the first band to play on this tepid Friday morning. The early Autumn rain has dissipated by 11 and i spend 15 minutes cloaking my jacket, along with hundreds of girls who seem to be taking off scant layers of clothes to reveal even more skin for the sun to kiss. It’s shaping up to be a good day. I finally make it over to stage 6A to catch Break Even play a slightly reserved version of ‘October 27th’ to a none-the-less rapturous crowd. They seem humbled to play Soundwave as their final tour, and receive a round of applause that is only lessened by the fact that most people are still walking through the entry gates when they finish.

About 83 other bands seem to have played already, so i hastily comport myself to a bigger stage (4B) to listen to The Black Dahlia throw some adrenaline filled noise around. It’s oddly affecting seeing hundreds of people moshing to ‘Malenchantments of the Necrosphere’ in a grassy field on a warm afternoon. More tattooed arms than one could possibly imagine are already being thrown around in drunken exuberance as TBDM finish their racing set. I’ve already left though, laying serious boot-leather hauling ass back to stage 6 to get near the barrier for CKY.

U.K. punks The Smoking Hearts are playing on the oddly bifurcated stage when i arrive- their furious and destructive bar-room anthems doing little to energize this crowd. A ‘CKY’ chant breaks out in the gaps between their tunes and one can’t help but feel bad for frontman Ben Mills as he banters to an obnoxiously impatient crowd. They give it their all but can’t escape from the pall of rabid cky fans.

If anyone doubted the ability of the Pensylvanian’s to fill a room, stage 6’s liquefying heat is enough to muzzle detractors. From outspoken guitarist Chad I Ginsberg’s entry to the appearence of Bam Margera the din in my ears never ceases. They run like a laptop with new antivirus software even without guitaris/frontman Deron Miller, treating the hungry crowd to elephantine classics: 96 Quite Bitter Beings, Disengage the Simulator, Attached at the Hip, Kneedeep. After some brief banter (‘Melbourne don’t know GG Allin’), cKy even have the rogue talent and aplomb to give us a destructive cover of ‘Bite it You Scum’, with Bam helping with vocal duties. They leave the stage in a haze of bravado and a chorus of admiration, the first band today to actually seem like rockstars.

The next hour or so was spent drifting helplessly in the current emenating from the beer tent as my lost friends sang to me like sirens. After half an hour of searching it was unsurprising to find them in the 18+ section ogling the Monster girls, waiting in 15 minute lines for drink tokens, and generally ignoring Steel Panther playing to 15 thousand people a minute’s walk away. After a froff or two it’s back to stage 6 to catch local upstarts Dream on, Dreamer forcing the younger kids into have a good time and inciting what would have to be arguably the first wall of death of the day. Not even a ‘Battle Metal’ chant from the red and black painted Turisas fans can slow them down as they throw in a few hits from their “Hope” Ep to really get things moving. They take to the larger festival stage better than to a bar-room’s confines, using the greater area to play louder, clearer and more infurating to purists.

It’s lunchtime and my back feels like a scoliotic mess. I’ll finish the day (from 2:30 onward) a bit later. Keep your eyes peeled and i’ll reveal how my friend nearly died in the Hatebreed pit and who i thought really stole the show.

It’s lunchtime and my scoliotic figure is sore, so i’ll write up the rest of the day (from 2:30 onward) a bit later. S

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