Nicki Minaj- Stupid Hoe

References to Angelina and Jennifer as well as Polanski and a hot pink ideology? Despite being “At the superbowl” in 2012, there’s something very 2003 about this video. How old is Nicki Minaj? Is that why she poses in a cage? Is she a cougar? And who puts an endorcement for a subsequent performance in their music video? That’s like Burger King putting an advertisement for a chunky vomit on their sweaty packaging, with a spangly, red, “2 hours hence” graphic.

Does Nicki Minaj have a lady gaga dildo or something (One that’s made of beaten bronze and has “Telephone” playing on infinite loop with flashing UV lights bleating on the inside)? It’s hard to explain her adoration for the gaudy quirkiness that Gaga trailblazed in any other way than a Sapphic crush. Though, where Gaga had boobs-in-your-face catchiness, ‘Stupid Hoe’ is emaciated of any musical weight. In fact, the crux of the song is a repetitive, monophonic electric sound that smacks of an amorphous Aphex Twin outtake. Actually, maybe Minaj has a series of anal beads that Gaga et al use – after all, how else could she be that behind the cadre.

I heard that this video was the most watched, within 24 hours of release, of all time. Thankfully, for my despairing soul, most viewers were suitably bemused and repulsed, the amount of views probably from young kids getting their friends to come over and do a shot every time there is an overstated edit in the clip (Feel the pain at 0:48 on). The red dislikes of the like bar a monolith two or three times that of the positive responses – almost as long as Miinaj’s eyelashes.

Wtf is with that whistle in the mix? Did some sessionist who thinks in monosyllables have a collapse midway through and leave just that horrible shrieking burst as his only legacy? I think it might actually be my ears howling into a rape whistle. Also, ain’t seen lashes like that since The Passion of the Christ.

And who uses “I am the female Weezy” as a way to sign off on a video? Like you need to disparage yourself when you’ve made this video. That’s like Bush being president all day then going home to play Grand Theft Auto.

I am the male Moaning Myrtle

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